Can little girls have babies?

Little Johnny runs into his house and asks, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?” “No,” says his mom, “Of course not.” After Little Johnny runs back outside, his mom hears him yell to his friend, “It’s OK, we can keep playing!” Dad jokes...

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A women is getting married for her fourth time around

A women is getting married for her fourth time around. On her honeymoon she asks her husband to be gentle because she is still a virgin. When hears this he asks, ‘How can that be you’ve been married three times before?” “She answers, “Okay, let me explain. My first husband was a gynecologist, all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychologist, all he wanted to do was talk about it. My third husband...

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Which part of my body do you like the best?

A man moved into a new apartment, and he decided to go and check his mail. The next thing he knows, a beautiful woman is standing in front of him and she has a robe on and she opens it and the man notices she has nothing on underneath. He tries to keep eye contact with the girl while she is talking to him. All of a sudden she says, “I hear someone coming, let’s go into my apartment. When they get in to her apartment, she lets her robe...

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She will not jump

Then there’s a friend who only calls me when she’s depressed. You all know people like this: I’m on the phone with her for three hours; it’s a waste of time. She never listens to my advice – she will not jump. Carol Siskind One liner jokes...

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In the hospital with two broken legs

A guy is in the hospital with two broken legs. The nurse comes in and tells him that there’s good news and bad news. The guy asks for the bad news first. The nurse says, “We’re going to have to remove your legs.” Then the guy asks for the good news. The nurse says, “The guy beside you wants to buy your sneakers.” Clean jokes...

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When the fly drops five inches

A fly flies back and forth over a river repeatedly, dropping five inches each time. A fish sees it and decides it will jump and catch it when it drops. A bear sees the fish and decides it will get the fish when it jumps. A hunter with a cheese sandwich in his pocket sees the bear and waits for it to go for the fish to shoot it. A mouse sees the cheese sandwich and decides to wait for the hunter to shoot so that the sandwich will fall and he can...

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Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money and go to Las Vegas

There’s a guy who lives in Ohio. One morning, he hears a voice in his head. The voice says, “Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money and go to Las Vegas.” He ignores the voice. Later in the day, he hears the voice again. “Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money and go to Las Vegas.” Again, he ignores the voice. Soon he hears the voice every minute of the day. “Quit your job, sell your...

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