Sin and shame

Q: What’s the difference between sin and shame? A: It’s a sin to put it in, but a shame to pull it out. Math jokes...

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Your day in the barrel

A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they’re at sea for so long. “Let me show you,” says the captain. He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there’s a solitary barrel with a hole in it....

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Wedding cake

A doctor tells a group of patients: “The material we put into our stomachs is terrible. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High-fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering...

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Look at that dog with one eye

Two blondes are walking down the road when one says, “Look at that dog with one eye!” The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, “Where?” Blonde jokes...

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What part did you get?

Two immigrants arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between the Old Country and the U.S. One of them says that he’s heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they’re going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two ‘dogs.’ The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend. “What part did you get?”...

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