Posts made in January, 2017

You’re already on the other side

Two blondes stand on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells: How do I get to the other side? The other blonde yells back: You’re already on the other side! Cat jokes...

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Take off my pantyhose

This couple have just met in a bar, really hit it off and gone back to her place to have wild, passionate sex. After they have finished he lies back with a smug look on his face: – I guess that was just about the best sex you have ever had, he says. – What makes you say that? asks the woman. – Well, every time we did it, I couldn’t help notice how it made your toes curl, he explains. – Oh, says the woman, that was...

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Where’s my Rolex?

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore the door off of the driver’s side. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just...

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The glass wall

Yo’ mama so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side. Your mama jokes...

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Shaving

You guys have it so easy. You don’t shave: it’s sexy, it’s a turn-on. We don’t shave: it’s birth control. Christmas jokes...

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You should be supplied with your own court stenographer

I think the moment you’re in a relationship, you should be supplied with your own court stenographer – you know, that person that sits in the courtroom and types down every word that is said. How many of you in your relationship have ever had to say to your mate, ‘I did not say that! No, you thought I said that!’ Wouldn’t you love to be able to go, ‘Uh, Mrs. Johnson could you read the minutes back of...

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Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!

A new teacher tries to make use of her psychology courses. The first day of class, she starts by saying, “Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!” After a few seconds, Little Johnny stands up. The teacher asks, “Do you think you’re stupid, Johnny?” “No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself.” Math jokes...

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