Jokes

I’m not your father

A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don’t know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman, “I know what we’ll do. After I’ve operated on the priest, I’ll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle.” “Do you think it will...

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You have to tell her where I was last night

You’ve all heard of the Air Force’s ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as “Area 51?” Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their “secret” base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot’s story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted...

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He who hath not sinned, cast the first stone

Jesus was standing on a hill talking to his people. “He who hath not sinned, cast the first stone”. Just then a stone came flying from the back of the crowd and hit him hard on the head. “Ouch, Mom! I hate when you do that!” Lame jokes...

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Like a peanut

Little Johnny comes home one day and says, “Mom! Little Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!” “What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?” “No,” says Johnny. “It’s salty.” Kids jokes...

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