Animal

When the fly drops five inches

A fly flies back and forth over a river repeatedly, dropping five inches each time. A fish sees it and decides it will jump and catch it when it drops. A bear sees the fish and decides it will get the fish when it jumps. A hunter with a cheese sandwich in his pocket sees the bear and waits for it to go for the fish to shoot it. A mouse sees the cheese sandwich and decides to wait for the hunter to shoot so that the sandwich will fall and he can...

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A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing-eye dog

A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing-eye dog. He stands in the center of the bar, takes the dog by the chain, and starts swinging him above his head. Everyone stops and stares. Upset about the way the animal is being treated, a patron runs up to the blind man and demands, “What the hell are you doing?” The blind man turns toward the patron and says, “Oh, nothing, just looking around.” Pirate jokes...

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How did the guy see the cow?

A black cow was standing in the middle of the road. A man was hauling ass around a corner with no headlights on. He slams on the brakes at just the right time to miss the cow. How did the guy see the cow? It was daytime. Kids jokes...

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Cow For Sale

Harry and his wife are driving in the country when he sees a sign that reads: “Cow For Sale – $5,000.” He pulls in and says to the farmer: “There’s no cow in the world worth $5,000.” The farmer says: “Oh, yeah? Take a look at this.” He lifts the cow’s tail and Harry sees that the cow has a snatch just like a woman. Harry gets back in the car, turns to his wife and says: “It’s...

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