Blonde

A blonde goes on a hot date

A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat. “No!” yells the blonde. Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again. “For the last time, no!” says the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asks, “Well, why the hell not?” The blonde says, “Because I wanna stay up here with you!” Blonde jokes...

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Who killed Abraham Lincoln

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions…. Officer: What’s 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm… 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm… I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow. The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks...

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You’ve got mail

A man was mowing his lawn when he heard his neighbor, who happened to be a blonde, come out of her house. She opened her mailbox, looked inside and slammed it shut. She stomped her foot and went back inside. The man thought “how weird.” A few minutes passed and sure enough, the blonde came out of her house again, checked her mail box, stamped her foot and went back inside. The man stopped mowing and checked her mailbox to see what...

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A tan without a tan line

A guy had a date with a really hot blonde. He wanted a tan without a tan line, so he went up on his roof and stripped. He fell asleep and woke up three hours later with a sunburn everywhere, even on his d**k. He puts lotion on it, wraps it up and gets ready for his date. The blonde comes over, and they make dinner. They’re watching a movie when the sunburn on the guy’s d**k really starts to hurt. He excuses himself to the kitchen,...

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Your finger is broken

A brunette goes to the doctor and says, “Everywhere I touch it hurts.” He asks “What do you mean?” So she showed him what she meant. She touched her knee and said “Ouch!” Then she touched her chest and said, “Ouch!” Then her shoulder, “Ouch!” The doctor looks at her and asks, “Your really blonde, aren’t you?” She replies “Yes, as a matter of fact I am. How did...

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