Dirty

Like a peanut

Little Johnny comes home one day and says, “Mom! Little Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!” “What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?” “No,” says Johnny. “It’s salty.” Kids jokes...

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Three men in a hotel each wanting a room

There are three men in a hotel each wanting a room. The porter of the hotel says, “All the rooms are booked except for one room with a kingsize bed.” The three men are too tired to go to another hotel so they decide to take the room. The next morning, the three men wake up and the man on the left side of the bed said, “Wow, I had vivid dream of getting a wonderous hand job.” The man on the right said, “Yeah, me too.” The man in the middle said,...

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Grosser than gross (2)

Q: What’s grosser than gross? A: Dreaming about eating chocolate pudding and waking up with a spoon in your butt. Dark jokes...

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Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor

Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is: a) healthy, creative love-play b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend could ever agree to c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about Science jokes...

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A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. All he needed to do was somehow get to the airport, and then he’d be home-free. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home. He...

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King Arthur was about to embark on a long crusade

King Arthur was about to embark on a long crusade. Before doing so he called to Merlin to devise a cunning chastity belt for Guinevere. The belt contained a miniature guillotine. Upon his return, he called to his Knights of the Round Table and had them all strip from the waist down. One by one, he went to each knight and shook his head, telling all those whose members were missing to get out of his sight. That is until he came up to Lancelot....

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Why beers are better than girls

1) You always know if you are the first one to open a beer. 2) A beer never gets jealous if you grab another beer. 3) A beer never gets angry if you show up smelling of beer. 4) The colder a beer, the better. 5) You can always share a beer with your friends. 6) A beer does not get upset if you arrive at 3 AM 7) You can choose a beer from the case and, if you change your mind, you can pick another one. Halloween jokes...

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