God

He who hath not sinned, cast the first stone

Jesus was standing on a hill talking to his people. “He who hath not sinned, cast the first stone”. Just then a stone came flying from the back of the crowd and hit him hard on the head. “Ouch, Mom! I hate when you do that!” Lame jokes...

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Did you know that St. Patrick..

Three Englishmen drink in a bar and spot an Irishman in the corner. The first Englishman starts to taunt the Irishman, “Did you know that St. Patrick was a sissy?” “Oh, no, I didn’t know that. Thank you.” The second Englishman yells, “Did you know that St. Patrick was a transvestite?” “Oh, no, I didn’t know that. Thank you.” The third Englishman yells, “Did you know that St....

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Working on a preacher’s car

A man was working on a preacher’s car in a garage and he was pushing hard on a wrench to loosen a nut and his hand slipped. He yelled “G**damn it” and the preacher said, “Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain, say ‘Lord, help me, Lord help me.'” The man went back to work and, a little while after, his hand slipped again and he said “Goddamn it” again. The preacher again told him,...

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What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?

Three nuns die and go to heaven, but all must answer one question to get in. The first nun is asked: “Who was the first man on Earth?” She says: “Adam” Lights flash and the pearly gates open. The second nun is asked: “Who was the first woman on Earth?” She says: “Eve” Lights flash and the gates open. The third nun is asked: “What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?” Puzzled, the nun...

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What did you bring?

Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing the world. In an effort to solve this dilemma, he decided that a few apostles would return to earth and fetch a sample of each drug, so they could understand what these substances did. Two days after the operation is implemented, the disciples begin to return. Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in each disciple: “Who is it?” “It’s Mark” Jesus opens the door:...

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