Men&Women

You have to tell her where I was last night

You’ve all heard of the Air Force’s ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as “Area 51?” Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their “secret” base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot’s story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted...

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Acute angina

Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time. Julie: “I should warn you, Ted: I’ve got acute angina.” Ted: “Your breasts aren’t bad either.” Cat jokes...

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Where’s the toast

After an elderly couple starts getting forgetful, they visit their doctor. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes. When they get home, the wife says, “Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And maybe write that down so you won’t forget?” “Nonsense,” says the husband. “I can remember a dish of ice cream.” “Well,...

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Don’t make the same mistakes I did

Having dinner last night, my six-year-old turned to me and said: ‘Dad, when I grow up, I’m gonna marry you.’ We laughed about it. My wife said: ‘Don’t make the same mistakes I did.’ Brian Kiley Clean jokes...

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