When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note – just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

Dogs always know who’s bad and will naturally bark at them.

Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.

Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.

A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.

Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings – especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.

One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involved martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.

Knock knock jokes

Read more jokes

LSA Electrical