If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade – at any time of the year.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off – even while scuba diving.

If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15 centimetres.

All single women have a cat.

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